Not from my Vantage Point

            I recently got more information on the visa and all it takes to obtain one, some of this involves getting all my information together, getting  2 background checks, two apostilles, acceptance to the local language school in Spain, a physical, a long drive to Chicago, and one appointment with the Spanish consulate. When looking at all these requirements I immediately became overloaded, because my first reaction as it is too often, was  to try to do everything all on my own .  However, God was whispering the whole time while I was stressing out that He has everything worked out, and that I just need to rest in Him and take it all a step at a time.  So when I finally allowed His whisper to become louder than my anxious thoughts, His words of comfort and peace filled me and allowed me to see things from His perspective instead of my very small vantage point.  I know that there is a lot to do and that needs to happen but I am constantly reminded that God has everything well in hand, and all I need to do is trust. 

Leaning not on my understanding, but His!

             I received some really good news a couple of nights ago, my visa actually won't take the four to six months like originally thought, instead it should take only about four to six weeks!! I am so excited to see what God is doing, He is opening doors and making things happen that no one else could possibly have done. I keep coming back to a lyrics of a song, sung during praise and worship at the Christian Church of Jasper by their band Narrow Path, "Our God will make a way, a way out of no way, He can do anything but fail!"
             Right now I am so thankful to be able to say that I am witnessing God doing just that, making a way out of no way. These next steps of finding people to partner with me financially and through prayer, getting my visa, and basically getting all the details worked out, can seem overwhelming if I let it. However, I will not look around me at how big the obstacles are, instead I will look at how huge my God is, and know that His plans truly can never fail!
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

The I need to post more often because this is entirely too long Post

                I obviously am not very good yet at this whole blogging regularly thing yet, but like me it is a work in progress.    

    So lots of things have happened since I blogged last, one of these things being that I found out that I may or may not be able to go to Spain in January because of the complications of getting my visa. This news at first discouraged me a great deal; I went off and pouted like I often do before God knocks some sense into me. So it wasn’t too long that God reminded me that I am not going on this trip by my own idea, strength, wisdom, or power, it is all His, He is the one who has orchestrated it all. So what right do I have to be upset that things aren’t working out the way that I planned them, instead I need to trust Him, and let Him lead me on this journey. I realized that if God doesn’t want me to go in January then I don’t want to go in January, it is all just a matter of me letting go and walking with Christ in the way He already has planned.  

                Some of this realization occurred at the National Missionary Convention this weekend. While there I was encouraged, challenged, and strengthen in so many amazing ways. From listening to a workshop to just a having a lunch with some precious friends I learned and grew so much.  I wrote some of these things I learned down so I wouldn’t forget like I am so good at doing, and thought I would share a few…

1. If God opens a door, don’t doubt, walk through it.

2.  Know my hang-ups, my coping mechanisms, allow God to show me, myself and my baggage so that when I go to serve Him, I’m not carrying around needless weight and stress.

3.  In order to do effective ministry in another culture I first must strip ministry of culture and use that raw form so I am not preaching and teaching my culture, but only Christ.

4.  That God has made me the way I am for a reason, I need to celebrate it, not hide it or suppress it

5. Allow myself recognize the stresses that I am feeling and why I am feeling them, realize I am not in control, rejoice over that fact, and rest that ball of emotion and stress in Jesus letting Him fill me with His peace.

6. Standing in line for an hour waiting for your food can be amazing, if you are with old friends.

7. That this will be hard, but not as hard if I just realize that God is in control and that He uses me best when I just walk along with Him.

8. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I need to invest in people, see their importance in the Kingdom of God, and give them room to grow and mature in Christ.

9.   My life will be studied more closely than my words.

10.  That I need to allow others to pour into me, but in turn I need to pour myself out for others in order to build them up in Christ.

11. That I cannot bring God to anywhere, He is already there working, I just can go and help shine His light and speak His words to that place.

12 Finally, that getting up at 4am and driving all morning for over 5 hours through three cities, is never a good idea before a huge conference, unless I am going for the whole, me turning into a grumpy bear thing. 

     Well these are just a few lessons I learned, I am sure as I become less sleep deprived from this wonderfully crazy weekend that I will begin to unpack more. For now though I will continue to marvel at just how good God is, and how completely grateful I am for the work that He is doing in me. 

 (Zephaniah 3:17!)

This is my life the rollercoaster...

Today I found out the official news, that I was accepted to be an apprentice in Granada, Spain.
Wow! When I heard the news, there were no words, just crazy hand gyrations and me doing something that was kind of like a dance and but more like a dying animal. Once the excitement was contained I was able to sit down and read more about all that needed to be done before I left in just two and a half short months. The excitement quickly was overshadowed by fear and doubt, words filled my head like, you can't possibly raise that much money in a month, health insurance? yeah right, and that whole getting your visa thing just forget about it. These words quickly spread from my head to my heart like a cancer infecting and destroying my hope quicker than I could react. I got frustrated, so I tried to do what I always try to do when I am frustrated...control any bit that I can. So I tried to take everything back into my hands, figuring out what it really would take to get to me there, and how I could possibly do it, and I came to the conclusion that it all was just impossible.
This conclusion actually wasn't a lie, it was true that I could not raise this money, get insurance, get a visa, and figure all of this out on my own, it was simply impossible. However, thankfully God spoke so softly to my heart like He does, revealing that although these things may be impossible for me, they are easy for Him. I was reminded that I am on this adventure with Him and for Him and that He will provide for ALL my needs in this, even the need I have for Him to be patient with me. Peace then flowed over me like a gentle washing rain, and although I don't know all the details of how all this is going to work out, I know that my Father does, and that is so reassuring. I am so thankful that I have a God that can do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us. (Ephesians 3:20)